MUCH BETTER THAN "SKYFALL" - At the end of the day, it's Mike Hawk who ends up getting a piece of the Pi!

Produced by Brett Kelly Entertainment
Directed by Brett Kelly
Screenplay by Brett Kelly and Trevor Payer
Genre: Comedy, Spy-Fi Parody
Country of Production: Canada
Released: August 27, 2014


Mike Hawk (Mark Courneyea), also known as Agent 3.5, Canada's top spy, is called in to complete a vitally important mission after Agent Double U Five (Derick Fage), a fellow agent, is killed by an enemy agent, Eva (Christine Emes), who is also known as Stopemfromfloppen. She works for Lance Dixon (Lawrence Evenchick), whose family fortune was derived from apple cider. Hawk has to recover an item known as the MacGuffin, which Dixon is using to try and take over the world. He is given his assignment by his superior at the agency, who is known simply as A (Barbara Seabright-Moore).

Before embarking on his mission, he visits O Branch to get a vital piece of equipment to help him complete his mission.

Acting on a tip, Agent Hawk travels to Quebec City, where Dixon is expected to be gambling in a casino. He finds his enemy and challenges him to a game of checkers, which is Dixon's game of choice. (Another table features people bobbing for apples.) After defeating his nemesis in checkers, he meets Amelie Jewels ("The F is Silent") (Candice Lidstone), and takes her back with him to his room.

Agent 3.14159 ("Call me Pi") (Sacha Gabriel), who had been Double U Five's lover, tails Hawk to the casino, wanting to kill Dixon as vengeance for his having killed him. Although A had forbidden her from going on this mission, she ends up being helpful to Hawk as he does battle with Dixon.

Hawk and Pi are captured by Dixon, who has arranged for them to be killed by dropping them into a vat filled with his cider, with a shark swimming inside. Pi is horrified at the idea that the shark would be drunk from the cider. They end up escaping and cornering Dixon, who kills himself by throwing himself into the cider. Stopemfromfloppen, who had betrayed Dixon, had previously been killed in this manner. They recover the MacGuffin, and the world is safe. The movie ends with Hawk and Pi going into his room to make love, "because we're spies and that's what we're supposed to do."


Spyfall, as its name implies, is yet another spoof of the James Bond franchise. It manages to parody a typical Bond film, including many of the elements that fans of the franchise have come to expect. A is supposed to be reminiscent of the character M from the Bond films Goldeneye through Skyfall. For some reason she looks a lot like Theresa May, which is an odd coincidence, as May did not become prime minister of Great Britain until two years after the film was made. She is also reminiscent of German Chancellor Angela Merkel. The name of her assistant is Miss Funnymoney, who exhibits an exaggerated romantic interest in Agent Hawk.

As in some of the Bond films, there are lots of puns and funny names. The name of Agent Double U Five was taken from a news magazine show that has run on the Canadian Television Network for a number of years called W5 (which is patterned after Sixty Minutes). Stopemfromfloppen is quite well-endowed, and wears dresses that display her ample cleavage. The name "Mike Hawk" also lends itself to risqué puns, which are used more than once in the film. If you say the name out loud, you will know what I mean. The term "Dixon Cider" is also used a couple of times. A and Pi both point out that their grandmothers enjoyed Dixon Cider (again, say that one out loud and you'll get it).

The vital piece of equipment that O issues to Hawk happens to be a big, bulky cell phone from around 1990. Just after O issues it to him, Hawk answers a call that he receives on his more modern phone, prompting O to ask, "What the hell is that?"

The film is certainly not up to the high standard that was set by previous Bond spoofs from Help! through the Austin Powers trilogy. However, it is quite enjoyable, as it features lots of bad puns, which I absolutely love. As it provides good, enjoyable entertainment (and plenty of babes, as well), I deem it worthy of receiving an Ed Wood Oscar.

Babe Content

No spy-fi movie, parody or otherwise, would be complete without significant babe content. Agent Hawk is introduced early in the film as he wakes up in bed with three women, all of whom extol his sexual prowess from the night before. Meanwhile, a fourth one is in the kitchen fixing his breakfast.

Amelie Jewels, the women that Hawk meets at the casino, looks incredibly beautiful in her little black dress. It's too bad she ends up being killed, which is another theme taken from the Bond franchise.

The real babe of the show, however, is Agent Pi. She is a luscious and sassy redhead, who steals the show when she shows up at the casino to seduce Lance Dixon, wearing a tight-fitting, low-cut dress. She is probably not glamorous enough to be an actual Bond Babe, but I find her to be more appealing than a lot of them. Maybe it's her attitude, or maybe it's just the combination of the red hair and low-cut dress. In any event, she is definitely worthy of a shout-out from The Skinner Zone.