Those of you who know me personally can attest to the fact that I love music, and that I take it seriously. This is especially true when it comes to Rock and Roll.
As with anything else, not all music, even Rock, is created equal. This is a genre of culture and music that runs the entire gamut, from those exquisitely awe-inspiring works of art that could only have been inspired by God, right down to the very dregs of putrid, gut-wrenching bilge that, for some unknown reason, managed to find its way onto vinyl. The great Science Fiction writer Theodore Sturgeon once observed that "Ninety percent of anything is crap!" This certainly applies to Rock Music.
It is that remaining ten percent that more than justifies the existence of a form of music that has existed since 1954 (coincidentally, the year I was born). Such greatness deserves to be honored, respected, and remembered for generations to come. In an attempt to do this, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame was created in 1986. Beginning that year, various acts have been inducted in an annual ceremony, complete with pomp, pageantry, and a certain amount of bullshit.
The Rock and Roll Hall of Shame is run by Jann S. Wenner, the founder and publisher of Rolling Stone magazine. He heads a select committee of lackeys and wannabees who collectively decide which artists get inducted each year, and which ones remain exiled to Outer Darkness. He runs the Rock Hall like his own personal fiefdom, exercising dictatorial control over the selection process and vetoing the induction of any artist who does not meet with his approval, regardless of merit. He famously blackballed The Monkees, an act that definitely deserves to be honored and included as one of the greatest artists of all time. Yet, he uses his power to shove hip-hop and (c)rap "artists" down everyone's throat, despite that fact that, not only do their aural excretions not qualify as Rock and Roll, they do not even constitute Actual Music. In an act of total sacrilege that was committed during the induction ceremony in 2007, Wenner shoved the 1960s band The Dave Clark Five aside to make room for a (c)rap act called Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five (yeah, I've never heard of them, either), despite the fact that The DC5 received more votes for inclusion. It has been rumored that the term "The Mistake by the Lake" was coined as a description of the Rock Hall. Perhaps the Sex Pistols said it best in 2006 when they referred to it as a "piss stain."
The Skinner Zone is not about to sit idly by and watch as this cultural crime against humanity continues to plague the world without making an attempt to rectify things. In order to offset the pernicious influence of Jann S. Wenner and his gaggle of misfits, suck-ups, and groupies, I have decided to create my own Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. From time to time, I will induct artists who are worthy of inclusion into my Hall. Unlike the Rock and Roll Hall of Shame in Cleveland, Ohio, my inductees will be grouped into categories, such as different eras, or even years, as well as the many different sub-genres of Rock. There will be no set number of artists included in any one category; rather, each one will include as many or as few as deserve to be there.
So grab yourself a nice cold glass of Coca-Cola on the rocks and prepare yourself for a trip through the glorious history of Rock and Roll